Saturday, May 26, 2007
What the prawns
What the prawns
I miss seeing your name (and only your name - edited msn settings) pop up at the corner of the screen.
I miss saying "heya" and "yo" and "boo!" and "hey yo" and put our favourite smiley at the end of that after every greeting. And a glomp afterwards.
I miss being with you. Though we're eleven thousand miles apart.
I miss having random conversations with you. Heck, you taught me randomness. YOU. You taught me that.
I miss talking of the things we would could want to do when we get together.
I miss hearing your rants, cause I know of all the peoples around you just won't rant. Except maybe to me.
I miss saying (and hearing) the three words to (from) you. Even though they're put on the computer screen.
I miss your fangirlness of P!ATD and whatever punk bank name thingy. Even though I don't exactly like them lah. But I still miss it, cause you're always kind to what I feel.
I miss talking of our random characters like the cookies, the eleven cupboards, Steve the Badger, pandas, and lots of things.
I miss talking to you about music. Like, while we have our differences in the tastes we share a vast common ground. Like all our chats of BoA. Utada. Creed. And lots.
I miss our Buffy-ness talks. I know you probably have to endure all my fanboyness of Sarah, but out of all the people in the world I want to share it with you.
I miss your rants of karate, but I'll call you Da Slayer, and in the end you do your gradings fine.
I miss it when you laugh, cause you can see where in my lameness it actually turns funny in my sense.
I miss all the rants about the weather. Too hot in Singapore, too cold in Scotland. And our fondness in Japan.
I miss the times we had to stay up late. Just to chat. And cursing at the bloody time difference. Heh.
I miss it when you get swoony when I start to update about Jon Leong.
I miss texting to you. Though it probably costed a bomb to my bills (Probably, cause as by far I've not heard any complaints from Da).
I miss voice conversations with you. I miss hearing your voice. (And uhm.. I really wonder what you uhm... smell like.. uhm. Yar. Your scent, I mean. The good kind.)
Yeah. I miss you so much.
So, terribly, muchly.
For someone to be able to see the me and truly understand, I feel you're the first.
But now...
It's been so long. I'm not sure what's happening.
This feeling a wavering one, but the anchor stays place like a rock lodged to the plunger.
I can't bear to pull the plug; not now, not now.
Though it hurts so much.
Though sometimes I feel like I did a lot, and it goes unappreciated.
And even though I made sacrifices to build with you this, between us. Even through the pain I still want you.
But now. There's noting for grasp.
Nothing at all.
Nothing at all.
Nothing at all.
I can only wait, but I can't pull the plug; it's too early, it's too early.
There's nothing to grasp, nothing at all to grasp.
I can only wait.
And I shall...
For how long, I can't possibly say.
How long I can endure this, I can't really tell.
I believe only God can answer that, but we're to uncover what's ahead of us a puzzle at a time.
There's nothing to hold on to.
But Hope.
...
The words of friends who believe.
"No matter what your decision, I'll be behind you",
"If you believe strongly, I'm sure you (and her) will meet one day".
Words simple enough, but enough to move me to tears.
I can't pull the plug now, I can't.
It's too early like the twilight approaching.
I can't pull the plug, I won't.
And even in who-knows, when maybe I've moved on with life,
I will be at the Scottish lands.
I will try to find you.
Only then, whether I do find you or not, only then shall I be resolved.
But now I can do nothing; there's nothing I can do.
I can only bide my time, as painful as it is.
I can only bide my time; may God watch over the path I take.
I can only bide my time.
And see where the waves push me.
-------
So. Major project's coming.
My close friends in a group together, it'll be hard for us to figure a project due to the different options we take. And now the other guy's probably in a different group..
I'm called for in a different group. Quite frankly I'm afraid.
You see, Nat and Boon, I'm afraid. Cause I know myself - and I really would rather be with Kel and Vin. Cause mainly I easily syncronize with the moods and attitudes of those around me.
Boon, take the case of our WAD group. I know, not being boastful or anything, but I know that if I put in a bit more effort, I can change the group to at least avoid the supp paper. At least perhaps get a pass.
But okay. Everyone was slacking. So in the end I slacked too. I was tired anyways. So in the end, we became supp paper peeps. Let's not bring up the case of Cheryl and her WAD paper avoidance (off-topic, lol).
So anyways. Yeah... I'm not meaning that you guys suck (lol.. darn... okay, I know you know I mean no insult here), it's just that, if you guys start slacking, I'll slack too. Quite definitely. So I'm afraid. Cause I do need my push forward time and again. (I do need my proper recharge too, but that's another topic).
So. Yeah. That's what I am apprehensive of.
However.
I know that if the team is positive and on the good jog, I'll be too.
Nat, remember the time in the CMSK group? Everyone was on right-track mind. Everyone did their part. I'm easily motivated that way. Good atmosphere, good attitude.
So yes. I believe I can help bring this project to a good end. And let's face it. It's do or die. I don't wanna die. Momma is with me!! Okay, random.
Thing is, I'll need YOUR help, Boon & Nat. Help me keep to right track. Boon, to be honest the WAD experience is really terrible for me. I know I didn't do anything when in actual fact I could. I still feel a little guilty about it.
Yeah. So, that's one condition about it - help me keep on the right attitude. Give me time to oil my gears. Give me a little push from now and then. Cause I don't wanna die.
Then there's a second condition. Well, not really. It's just that, let's do a proper and GOOD project this time eh? I think we're easily affected by each other's moods and stuff. So if we're facing the cookie positively, we should do fine. Let's work to something WE can be proud of! :D
Yeah. I really want this to be in my portfolio. And hopefully it'll be something good for your portfolio too. So let's gotta go kung-fu fighting *fwaah*
Third condition.
Help me bring in milk from time to time.
Seriously.
Okays. Boon, Nat. Whatever's above which may sound negative, I hope it doesn't offend you ><
But in any cases, let me know what you guys feel. Basically this endless chunk of words just means that - Yeah, let's be the team ;)
Right then. Should end here.
For you guys reading this, don't drink too much milk; it can give you explosive diarrhoea. Otherwise, sip it like a kitty.
Also.
For the first half of this post. Please don't comment about it. Ever. Unless you can figure an unexpected thing to say. An unexpected advice thingy to say. Otherwise, please don't comment. And I don't surprise easy.
Adios.
Love to Hannah.
Sayonara~
PS: Okay, Nat, Boon, I'm kidding about the milk condition XD let me know how you feel. Thanks dudes.Labels: basketeering, crypticness, HM
